/‘What happens in this house stays in this house’ Black women sound the alarm about domestic violence in the African American community

‘What happens in this house stays in this house’ Black women sound the alarm about domestic violence in the African American community

The grandmother was unhappy about Sammy, Ishaunna’s ex-boyfriend. Sammy had been controlling and verbally abusive throughout their year-long relationship. He began to behave erratically, making threats against Ishaunna’s son and making other violent threats. Sammy assaulted her the first time, but he was only released after Ishaunna refused to press charges. Ishaunna was concerned that Sammy might attempt to kidnap her child. She sought a restraining orders at Hattiesburg police headquarters. However, she was told she had to return the next week. Ishaunna was not allowed to leave her home or go out alone because of Sammy’s violent personality. But Ishaunna, who was a few months shy of completing a business-administration degree at Antonelli College, wanted to unwind from the stressful week before going to work the next day. Although she decided to stay at home, she agreed to let her son spend the night in her home with her grandmother. Ishaunna stated, “At that time, I was tired running from him.” Ishaunna said, “This is mine. No one is going to take me away.” It was the last time she remembers being able stand. Later that night, it was windy outside and Ishaunna rested in her living area sipping cranberry-and vodka while she listened to late-night talk shows. The air was filled with the scent of cinnamon-apple scented candles. At 10:10 p.m., a knock on the door. Mitchell Jones, father to Ishaunna, knocked at the door. He had brought milk for her son. This request was made by her grandmother, who was worried. Her cellphone rang immediately after she opened the door to Mitchell. It displayed the name of Sammy’s mom on the caller ID screen. “Call the police!” Sammy’s mother stated that Sammy was going to kill Mitchell and then himself. Mitchell was told to stay inside by her mother, Sammy. The security system bleeped, indicating that the deadbolted interior door leading into the living area had been opened. There was a thud. Sammy, grasping a pistol, crashed through a door. Mitchell was struck in the stomach by the trigger as he fell on the ground. Isuanna was also hit in the back by a second bullet. Sammy regained his balance and moved towards Isuanna, preparing to fire. Mitchell shot him in the shoulder. Sammy fled after the men exchanged more shots. She said, “When he shot at me, I immediately knew that I was paralyzed.” Ishaunna was racing her mind as she lay down on the ground, her consciousness slowly fading. She said, “This cannot be the man who claimed he loves me and wants to marry me.” Ishaunna, who was dirty with laundry, had to be flown to Jackson to survive the shooting. Doctors told her she was close to death. The bullet that struck her spine caused paralysis from the waist. She now uses a wheelchair. Sammy was taken into custody at Forrest General Hospital, Hattiesburg and charged for aggravated assault. He was found guilty by a jury of aggravated assault. He was sentenced to 40 year imprisonment with 20 years suspended. He was sentenced to 10 years. Last year, Laurel, a town of 18,493, was the scene of the murder of Davokiee Ann, a 24-year-old mother of two. Eric House, Jackson’s boyfriend was identified as the primary suspect. He later surrendered to police. “Domestic violence” is a serious problem. Davokiee’s story must be told and she must be remembered to prevent such things from happening,” Tracie Smith, Jackson’s aunt, said with tears in her eyes last fall at a domestic violence awareness event. Despite the fact that black women are more likely than other races to be subject to domestic violence or intimate partner violence, stories like those of Ishaunna and Davokiee often go untold. In 2014, four out of ten black women said they had been victim to violence by an intimate partner. This is the highest rate among all racial groups. The CDC found that black women are more likely to be killed by their domestic partners than any other race, with 57.7 per cent of black women being shot by their partner. Eighty-five per cent of black females who were killed by men were between 18 and 65 years old. According to the agency, black female victims of homicide were on average 35 years old. Between 2003 and 2014, 53 percent of murders of women involved an intimate or domestic partner. The CDC surveyed data from 2010 to 2012 and found that 458,000 Mississippi women were victims of physical and sexual violence. The era of Me Too has brought attention to intimate-partner violence in black communities. It was started a decade ago by Tarana Burke, an activist. Recent revelations have shown that many powerful men had sexually harassed and abused women for decades. Many stories of black women who suffered violence at the hands black men are not well-known. Nevertheless, a few high-profile cases such as the one of R&B artist and Chicagoan-born R. Kelly’s history sexual abuse has sparked debate in the African American community. This has led to calls for black women to be protected and to listen. Experts say the South presents unique challenges due to its reverence for religious principles and the endurance of ideas about masculinity, poverty, and gun culture. The Washington, D.C.-based Violence Policy Center released a 2017 report called “When Men Murder Women” that ranked states based on the number of females killed by males. Five of the top ten ranked states were located in the South. Mississippi was ranked No. 17 in the study. “I believe that black women are more victims of violence because of the disproportionate amount of violence they have at home, school, and on the job,” Eva Jones, founder of Butterflies of Grace Defined by Faith in Mississippi. This non-profit empowers teens and women whose lives have been directly or indirectly affected by domestic violence, sexual assault, and human trafficking. “African American women often fear reinforcing stereotypes of black men as violent. Jones stated that although this is something Jones can debate, it does not reflect the history of slavery. Jones said that although I can debate this, I believe this goes back to slavery. C.J. C.J. Men sometimes manipulate women who are raised in the church to believe that there will be no life without it. Your husband is your best friend. Pray for your husband. God will provide. She dies tragically and unfortunately because of his violence,” Rhodes stated. Rhodes said that African Americans are reluctant to seek help outside of their faith traditions. They don’t want to talk about it, and so they don’t visit the therapist or the pastor until it’s too late. Everyone is asking, “Why didn’t everyone talk about it?” Rhodes explained that not talking about it is part “the contradictions in respectability.” He said, “You don’t tell anyone what you’re going through at your home.” Rhodes stated, “You present a facade that everything is fine. So you go to church, school, and, if you get hit, you cover it with make-up or wear sunglasses.” “You make this image that everything is OK because you fear that if someone gets into your business, they’ll talk to you.” Ishaunna attempted to hide Sammy’s business from the streets with patterns of behavior. They met in 2001 and dated for approximately a year before she couldn’t bear Sammy’s jealousy. She said that Sammy was extremely controlling and wanted to know every detail of her life. Sammy’s violent personality was revealed after the breakup. Sammy met Ishaunna in the parking lot at a barbecue restaurant one day to retrieve a mobile phone he had left behind. Sammy had been dropped off by a relative so Ishaunna asked for a lift. You can drop me off. Sammy assured her that she wouldn’t bother her. Sammy began to rip at her shirt as they drove down 4th Street. Ishaunna, a Hattiesburg officer, noticed that the car was swerving and pulled them over. Sammy was taken into custody after the officer noticed her ripped shirt. However, Ishaunna didn’t ask for Sammy to be arrested. She did not want him to be locked up, she just wanted him out her car and out of her life. He was driven home by the police. After receiving a threat call from Sammy accusing her of his near arrest, she went to Hattiesburg Police Department to inquire about a restraining or other type of police action. The officer informed her that it was Monday, and she should return the next day. She recalls that the same officer arrived on the scene to assist her in shooting. The CDC found that about 11% of victims of intimate partner violence-related homicide had experienced violence in the month prior to their death. Arguments and jealousy were also common causes. Wendy Mahoney, executive Director of the Mississippi Coalition Against Domestic Violence said that domestic violence is a “pattern of behavior.” She explains that domestic violence is coercive behavior in which an individual uses their power and control to humiliate, degrade and embarrass another person. This abuse can take many forms, including financial, emotional, spiritual, and sexual. Mahoney acknowledges that there are always differences between couples, but not all domestic abuse. She said that domestic violence occurs when it becomes a habit and is rooted in power or control. Why didn’t you just leave? Eve Williams, a Sharon Miss. Born in the United States, Eve Williams, a Sharon, Miss. native, witnessed how central power, control and abuse can be used during her 28-year marriage with a minister. She was left devastated after a brutal beating that ended in hospital. Five years into their marriage, he beat her and dragged them around the house. She says that she could see it growing over time. Williams stated that “Things happen and you find yourself in a position where you’re asking yourself: “How did I get here?” Although things were difficult throughout our marriage, I thought we had reached a point where we were happy. But then, it happened. “I shut down. I shut down. I was stunned. It was two years that I didn’t speak about it. No one knew. For years, I felt mad at myself because I kept asking myself why I didn’t just leave. The 2017 rule was adopted by Mississippi utility regulators. It allows women who are referred from domestic violence shelters to delay paying their utility-deposit fees in order to establish accounts in their own name. Mississippi’s domestic abuse statute covers simple assault and aggravated assault. It also covers simple domestic violence, simple violence third, aggravated household violence, and aggravated. Each charge comes with a different penalty. The state of Mississippi was the focus of national outrage in 2017 when Andy Gipson (a Republican) blocked legislation that would have made domestic violence the 13th grounds for divorce. He stated, “We must have policies that strengthen marriage.” Gipson resigned after the backlash and introduced a bill to allow domestic violence to be cited as a reason for ending a marriage. However, it did not include domestic abuse as a basis for divorce. Domestic-violence bills have been filed by lawmakers. These include measures to ban domestic violence convicted from possessing weapons, to ensure that abuse victims and advocates are protected, and to create domestic-abuse courts. Mahoney believes that it is difficult to escape domestic violence, especially for women of color and those with low incomes, because they have less financial resources in Mississippi. Her organization shelters a majority of African American women. Black women in Mississippi have the largest wage gap in the country compared to white men. A report released last August by the Black Women’s Equal Pay Day campaign found that black women who work full-time year-round make 56 cents per dollar less on average wages than white non-Hispanic men. A study found that a black woman could earn $830,800 less per year than a white male over the course of a 40 year career. Mahoney stated that it was mostly people with low socioeconomic status, and may not have the resources or support they need. “Look at me” More than 15 years have passed since Ishaunna Guilly-Bettis lost her walking ability and almost her life. She works for LIFE (Living Independent for Everyone of Mississippi), a non-profit organization that serves 17 Mississippi counties. She provides peer counseling, advocacy and information, as well as transition services for young people with disabilities. As a Christopher Reeve peer mentor, she assists people with new spinal injuries in Mississippi. She teaches them how to regain confidence and live independently. “I learned that life is what you make of it. You can’t always control what other people do to your life, but you can choose how you react and deal with it. I am not the victim anymore, but a survivor — a overcomer,” Ishaunna said to Mississippi Today, stressing that Sammy has forgiven her. “God gave my a second chance at life. She says she felt God’s grace and mercy and believed that he deserved it. Eva Jones stated that it is important to provide safety for women who seek help and are willing to discuss the violence they are suffering. Jones stated that it is important to recognize that a person cannot talk to another person until they are ready to leave that abusive situation. Advocates urge men to make better choices and encourage their peers to do so. The Mississippi Coalition Against Domestic Violence established a men’s group after Ray Rice, a professional football player, knocked his fiance unconscious in an elevator in 2014. “Understanding…that men are more responsive than other men, so we set out to encourage them to stand up against domestic abuse,” reads the newsletter that the organization published to promote the program. It asked men to make a pledge to be a “standup guy” against domestic abuse. Writing poetry gives Eve Williams strength. A poem she wrote at 16 years old helped Williams cope with the sexual abuse she suffered as a child. Williams read her poetry to an audience last fall.
Audience at the Mississippi Capitol to observe Domestic Violence Awareness Month. The poem was not just for her introspective healing. She hoped that it would be a healing tool for others who had experienced similar situations. The title of her poem, “Me”, is: Look at me. Can’t you see? I’m as beautiful as you can imagine. God made me like you. Don’t let anyone make you feel inferior. When I look into the mirror, I see somebody, somebody and that somebody is me. While I might not be as smart, articulate, or perfect as you would like, I will always be the perfect person God made me to be_x000D.